wow, a year and 5 days
since i last posted. why is that? i could give you a whole list of reasons, each crazier and more fantasical than the last, but what good would that do anybody? here's the real reason: i lost my password. okay, so its not exciting, but i don't really care. i'm in a lot of pain from volleyball. i have 10 (count 'em 10) injuries from the sport, the newest being a twisted ankle from misjudging a step and chasing a ball at the same time--how coordinated of me. NOT. anywho, randomness has ensued in the year that i have not posted. i started another blog somewhere but now i forgot the name of it--oh well.
emotionally all is fine--little to no drama--oh, except for the insy binsy little tiny fact that I HAVE A CRUSH ON MY BEST FRIEND. what's wrong with that you ask? nothing. nothing except that i'm too freakin shy to do anything about it. oh, and the fact that HE'S ALREADY TAKEN BY AN AQUAINTANCE OF MINE. id call her a friend too, but fact is, i don't really care if she's there or not. that might sound mean, but she's rude, crude, larger (in size) than i am and i think he could do a whole lot better than her (i.e. ME for example). and the worse thing is, if i'm not friendly with her, that means i can barely see the guy i like outside of class. so i'd rather suffer through making small chat with her than not being able to see him at all. which is still stupid of me, cause if she's there, i have to see all the cutesy wootsy little sickening couples stuff they do--like kiss-blech. now, i'm not one to usually cringe at PDA, but when he's kissing her right in front of me, you know what that does to me? and even if i had the courage to come out and tell the guy that i like him and give him the chance to consider if he has any feelings for me, that girl would probably go psycho on my ass and try to stab me with some scissors (she's tried that with her first boyfriend--that's how they met). so gad damn this whole situation. everytime i try to put him out of my head, he always invites me over to their housing unit to hang out or party or something--and i can't refuse him. i'm not that strong. i've tried saying 'okay, would i really want to like, kiss him after he's kissed her so many times? its practically like making out with her, which i wouldn't do if you paid me a million bucks.' but he looks at me with that goofy grin of his, and those cute little eyes (bambi's got NOTHIN on this guy) and who am i to say no? and we like all the same stuff. seriously. if there was anyway to make him feel the way about me the way i feel about him, i would do anything to make it happen. alas, i fear i am doomed to wander alone until i die, old and wrinkly. never being kissed, never saying that i've been in a relationship. i'd rather have my heart broken to pieces than to have never given it away. i think i would be able to over come the heartbreak; i'm strong enough--its finding someone who's willing to take me as i am that's the freakin problem.
fuck.
i have a test tomorrow
emotionally all is fine--little to no drama--oh, except for the insy binsy little tiny fact that I HAVE A CRUSH ON MY BEST FRIEND. what's wrong with that you ask? nothing. nothing except that i'm too freakin shy to do anything about it. oh, and the fact that HE'S ALREADY TAKEN BY AN AQUAINTANCE OF MINE. id call her a friend too, but fact is, i don't really care if she's there or not. that might sound mean, but she's rude, crude, larger (in size) than i am and i think he could do a whole lot better than her (i.e. ME for example). and the worse thing is, if i'm not friendly with her, that means i can barely see the guy i like outside of class. so i'd rather suffer through making small chat with her than not being able to see him at all. which is still stupid of me, cause if she's there, i have to see all the cutesy wootsy little sickening couples stuff they do--like kiss-blech. now, i'm not one to usually cringe at PDA, but when he's kissing her right in front of me, you know what that does to me? and even if i had the courage to come out and tell the guy that i like him and give him the chance to consider if he has any feelings for me, that girl would probably go psycho on my ass and try to stab me with some scissors (she's tried that with her first boyfriend--that's how they met). so gad damn this whole situation. everytime i try to put him out of my head, he always invites me over to their housing unit to hang out or party or something--and i can't refuse him. i'm not that strong. i've tried saying 'okay, would i really want to like, kiss him after he's kissed her so many times? its practically like making out with her, which i wouldn't do if you paid me a million bucks.' but he looks at me with that goofy grin of his, and those cute little eyes (bambi's got NOTHIN on this guy) and who am i to say no? and we like all the same stuff. seriously. if there was anyway to make him feel the way about me the way i feel about him, i would do anything to make it happen. alas, i fear i am doomed to wander alone until i die, old and wrinkly. never being kissed, never saying that i've been in a relationship. i'd rather have my heart broken to pieces than to have never given it away. i think i would be able to over come the heartbreak; i'm strong enough--its finding someone who's willing to take me as i am that's the freakin problem.
fuck.
i have a test tomorrow
posted by creamcheesefiend at 5:38 PM
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