wtf?

okay, someone want to explain what the fuck is going on here?
cause obviously, i have no clue. i have all these godforsaken emotions inside of me and theyre burning my soul like red hot fucken coals. i mean, my sister just got some of the best news of her life (probably) - she got her internship at disneyworld approved. i should be happy for her- and on some far distant level (youre a long way from the lobby now boy) i guess i am. but on the other hand im thinking what the hell just happened here? im losing my sister and everyone expects me to feel greatful. well guess what, i dont! i mean, yeah, she bugs the hell out of me, but thats what sisters do. everyones looking at me and i have to put on some goddam show of feeling relieved finally-its all a fucken part i have to play and i want a rewrite of this script!
another part of me (the smaller part) is totally crushed that i wont see her for another 6 months, i mean, as much as i hate to admit it (and will probably never do so again) i love my sister, i love when we hang out together when she's not being a total ass. its actually fun. now i have to find a new roomate and start all over again next semester which will totally suck.